How lonely I would be...

I want to always remember how special Dagny has been to me during this time in the Navy. She is my buddy. I want to remember how most nights, as tired as I am, I prefer it when she ventures into my bed. I want to remember how much my heart aches when she is away with my parents because of work and I come home to an empty, quiet house. How much she keeps the hole in my heart, from Mark being away, feel full. I want to remember how much fun it has been having one child, a girl, to be girly with and silly with, to dress up, to be sweet and gentle with. To spend 99% of my time solely with her. She is so special to me and I can tell how special I am to her. What we've had is something I will never forget and cherish always. People say they can't imagine doing what we do, how hard it must be, or they don't know how I do it alone. I'll be the first to admit that being away from Mark is hard, but I don't really remember how hard its been to have Dagny on my own. Which means that even during her tough days, it wasn't that hard. All I can think about is how much she made me laugh, or how sweet it is to have her sleeping heavily on my chest at the end of a day. Sure there have been days when wine was necessary by 3pm, but I don't remember why. I just remember how much fun its been to have Dagny, all by myself most days. I want to remember how she says "oh mama" for no reason at all. Or how she still puts both her hands on my cheeks like she did when she was a baby. Or how when something hurts or is sad or scary, mama turns into mommy. How she loves to dance, march, sing, run, yell. But also sit in my lap all morning long talking to me or her animals she's lined up. She is changing before my eyes into a little girl. It is the greatest joy to watch her grow. She is my little walking parrot, repeating everything I say and even stringing little sentences together. I hope so many things for her and her little heart. But I also hope I'll never forget how special this time has been with her. With all of that said, I'm laying here, feeling sweet little kicks in my belly and hoping for my next baby's sake that they're as awesome as Dagny. And to think all I ever wanted was a boy first.

My Week...

There were not many pretty and worthy things to take pictures of in my house this week. When we got home from being gone for 4 days our A/C was broken. While we waited for it to be fixed, Dagny and I spent the days wearing next to nothing, under fans and in an open freezer door. I didn't cook anything, clean anything, or use anything in my house that required energy. We didn't venture or escape to A/C, for fear that we would come back feeling even worse. It was an adventure. I spent the whole time yearning for screened windows so that they could be open in the mornings and evenings. However,  the screen less windows stayed shut because I'm pretty sure I live over a black widow colony and my house is surrounded by street cats and any other gross bug you could think of. I would rather melt than spend a second worrying about what was crawling into my house. As you can see in the next picture, they did finally bring us a temporary window unit to cool the house until they replace the A/C. 

Dagny and I survived. She put every animal/doll to sleep a lot, I spent some time catching up on reading blogs, sorting pictures, and online shopping(dreaming) for anything Dagny and baby. Here are a couple of things that are fun, and I enjoyed reading this week:

Slowing down...

WHAT?!?

Art

Accidents...

So unnecessary and cute

A tiny house dream come true.

The rest of these pictures are from our week before the A/C went out. 

Dagny had her first "Field Day." Something my homeschooled self was unaware of existed. Mark on the other hand stated he would give anything to watch Dagny's first field day, so I had to take her. As much as I wanted to avoid the Friday of Memorial day weekend traffic by escaping to 30A first thing in the morning, we stayed and I went. It was the cutest there ever was. She's in pre-toddler daycare so there were not competitions or ribbons like any field dayer would expect. But, there was a live tortoise, jumping houses, water tables, popcorn, cotton candy and other fun things. Dagny's excitement when I showed up to this event, she could clearly tell was happening, was probably my favorite thing ever.

  

We eventually made it to the little beach house and had the nicest weekend ever. 

The Beach with Dagny

Before we went off to Toronto, Dagny and I spent the weekend at the little beach house. The water was still too cold and I'm pretty sure it rained most of the weekend. Before dinner, Dags and I went down to the beach to run around. Dagny was very timid of the water and waves. She spent most of the time avoiding it and would yell "ruuuuun" when a wave approached. I love how quiet, content and self entertaining Dagny is at the beach. She's always observing and thinking. 

I didn't know what she was laughing at until I zoomed in and realized what she was putting on her face. A jelly fish! I was horrified, but she was left unscathed. 

See ya beach!

Looking at these pictures from a month ago I can't believe how much she has changed and grown. She seems so much older now, taller and skinnier. Her little arms and legs and belly have disappeared. Her vocabulary has quadrupled and now she's a mad woman in the water. The bigger the waves the better. 

A Duo

Dagny and Remi: The two best buds and little knuckle head toddlers there ever were.

We're a duo, a duo, a pair of lonely ones
Who were meant to be a two
Oh, a duo, it's true-o
Wherever we go, we're going me and you

No matter what, now, we've got one another
We'll be be there to pick each other off the floor
Anytime you're feeling glum
Count on me to be a chum

If ya get an itch attack
I'll be there to scratch your back
Now who could ever ask for more

Oh stop, oh stop, no, don't stop
More, more, we're friends
And that's what friends are for

We're a duo, a duo, a pair of lonely ones
Who were might to be a two
Oh, a duo, it's true-o