Lately...
Feeling discouraged and missing Mark.
I'm disliking work more and more.
I'm teaching a sweet new Navy Nurse how to be a L&D nurse, so that is making it bearable. It's hard to be unhappy when you are with a pretty, joyful, Jesus loving person all day.
I'm spending the majority of my days off in Dagny's room, on the floor.
I'm not cooking. I feel very uninspired in the food realm.
I'm letting my house get too cluttered with folded laundry and toy piles.
Too much time is going in between vacuuming for a crawling baby and my shedding hair.
I'm drinking a lot of coffee. Way more than usual. Or maybe it's that I'm getting a fresh cup more often.
I've been anxiously waiting for Mark to get his starting spot back. He's way better than the other guy, and the games aren't as fun to watch.
But I'm practicing patience at the same time.
Drinking wine and eating bread.
I'm going to bed before I clean the kitchen.
I've never been so inlove with Dagny.
I'm not reading anything but want to be reading everything.
Except when Mark reads the Bible at night before we go to bed. I seem to always fall asleep a few words in, so in the morning I've been catching up.
I've been envious of Mark's life in Toronto. He's going to fashion shows and player Galas, riding bicycles and trying new restaurants. Hanging with players and their wives.
I have been bitter about Dagny going to a nanny and even though everything is fine there, I seem to think it's terrible.
I've bought some pretty new things like art and a blanket and new sun hats for the two of us.
I'm hoping the weather stays like this all summer but that's silly.
Listening to Puccini.
I don't really know what to blog about besides Dagny.
I haven't been in your exact situation, Emma, but I know how you feel. It's hard to be happy when you want a season of life to be over. It's hard when you have tastes of greatness but then you have to give it up for a while. It's hard to want something but not be able to have it. Duke and I have been trying to actively seek things to be thankful for. We don't love Philly. We would way rather be in the mountains or by water, but this is where we are. It's hard for us not to feel sorry for ourselves because we don't have best friends here and we don't have fun activities here like in other seasons of our lives. But we are here for some reason so we are forcing ourselves to actively try to be content because we aren't naturally content here. I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Amy. So sweet and encouraging.
Deletewhat a sweet reply, Amy. And Emmy Lou, my heart hurts for you at the same time it is so thankful for the most precious relationship you are building with that precious little daughter of yours.
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