A Sweet Routine

As much as I love being a nurse, I love being a mom more. I am counting down the days until I'm able to stay home full-time with Dagny and our future babies. There are moms that love working and moms that love staying home. I respect both choices and don't believe one is a better mom than the other. I'm a mom that is in the Navy and doesn't have a choice. I know I'm not the only mom that doesn't have the choice to stay home. I did have the choice when I decided to get pregnant while still working. But Mark and I didn't want to wait until I was out of the Navy. We want a big family and to be young parents. So here I am, working 40+ hours a week, while my baby is at home. Soon I will have to leave her in a strangers care. Right now Mark is home with Dags, but he will go back to Toronto in January. I'm trying to decide between a day care, a home day care, or hiring a nanny. All sound terrible at this point and I'm in a state of denial. As much as it hurts, I know this season will pass faster than I can imagine. 

When I get home, I take over Dagny. Mark pours our wine and starts cooking. I feed her, change her, bathe her, but mostly play with her. Dagny is making noises non-stop. Has rolled from her belly to her back. And is determined to start moving. I'll entertain her for about an hour and she'll chill and talk to us while we eat. When she starts to get tired I'll pick her up and we'll sway till she falls asleep. I'll play three songs. Not sure why I picked any of them except that they're beautiful. First is Over The Rainbow, Judy Garland. Second is You'll Never Walk Alone, the version from Carousel. Lastly, is Barcarolle, sung by Montserrat Caballe and Marilyn Horne. She is usually out before the last song, but I will continue to sway and put the songs on repeat. It is the sweetest routine that I'll treasure. She wraps her fingers around my hand and nuzzles her head into my chest a bazillion times. I love it. It's not something I'll keep up much longer because she doesn't necessarily need it to go to sleep. It is truly for myself. My time to soak her in after missing her so much that day.