At what point are wild children ill behaved children? I hosted a party recently that a bunch of friends from work came to. Within minutes of the arrival of a family with kids, my little tiny house was turned into a jungle gym. My couch was a fort and my closets were prime hiding spots. If you have been to my house you'd know its adorned with treasures. Antique hand me downs from my parents, Damariscotta pottery and pieces I like to describe as investments make up most of it. A few pieces are even a little too rickety for Mark's taste. Suddenly, I found myself having a very hard time enjoying the party because my house was being destroyed, and the volume had increased ten fold. I'm not sure if it was that I kept reminding myself to relax and accept that this is what life with children looks like, or the fact that I kept drinking margaritas, but I didn't say anything. Don't get me wrong, I love children. I especially love well behaved, polite, and respectful children. I also understand that my curated house will have to undergo some changes as Dagny gets older and our family grows.
My sister and I have had a number of conversations about raising children and comparing the different parenting types. Our biggest examples are comparing our families with our cousins. Now that we are all adults its fun to talk about the different methods and "scary aunts" from our childhood. My parents were always the strictest of the families. We knew that at 5:00pm it was wine time and "grown-up" time. The five of us would disappear and entertain ourselves elsewhere. We also knew that when one of the parents had to come tell us to settle down, that meant business and we obeyed. Most of my cousins were terrified of my parents. However, my parents were raising five children in an Inn that was constantly full of inn guests trying to enjoy the peace and quiet of the East Coast. We had to understand boundaries and be well behaved. I love that at a young age, we knew how to find pleasure in talking to older couples staying at the Inn. We knew that there was a time for quiet. When the Inn guests left for the season, we could be wild and make the Inn ours. The Bernets were always a little more on the wild and ridiculous side. Today, they are the funnest people to be around because they are all hilariously silly and they make everyone around them laugh. While some of their behavior growing up never would of flown in our house, its clear that a little wild and silly is okay. I don't want to be the "scary mom," but I can already tell I have a lot of my mom in me when it comes to acceptable behavior. It makes a huge difference when your children are guests in someone else's home. The behavior in your home can be different than the behavior in someone else's. I want my kids to be well behaved. I also want them to be silly and wild like the Bernets. I want them to know love like those kids do from their parents and I want them to make Mark and I laugh as much as they make their parents laugh.
So at what point is wild ill behaved? Well, when my dollhouse stairs are ripped off and this poor little birds legs are bent back just because, I draw the line. I can look past the messes and noise. Those are easy fixes and apart of the experience. When things are broken because of misbehavior, that is harder for me to look past. The fact is my house is tiny. There really isn't somewhere for kids to disappear and play. We also had two babies here that were on and off sleeping in rooms that could of been played in. So the chaos seemed to be where the adults were trying to eat and drink. It just got me thinking about wild children and how well my parents taught us when wild was not okay.
